Celebration or Deprecation

It took me an excessively long time to understand that not everyone seeks first critiques, improvement, or feedback; some celebrate the experience and encourage the progress. For me, it became second nature that there was always room to be better or do more. No matter how good the grades were, there were projects, tests, and presentations that could be better. No matter how hard I hit the ball, how many line drives I caught, or plays I made, there was always a skill that needed work… I still do this by the way… (but I know you’re not surprised by that.)

Well intended humbleness begins to feel like self-deprecation when we cheat the celebration and gloss over the present. When we don’t celebrate the now and encourage steps forward despite the failure or less-than-desirable experience it’s like only counting the out on a sac-fly and not the run that scored.

What if we could turn that practiced form of self-deprecation (OR self-celebration) into a self-aware superpower? What if we learned how to channel the mental play-by-play review, ideation, and solution scouring into leaning into our strengths and owning our weaknesses (which by the way, you don’t need to work on all the time; it’s OK to not be good at something and not want to be).

Celebrating my wins – no matter how small – is an active practice, something I’m way better at doing for others than myself. (Isn’t that what we do – show up for others in the way we wish to show up for ourselves, or desire others to show up for us?)

Here’s the point. Some of us learn(ed) self-celebration. Some of us learn(ed) self-deprecation. (I’m clearly in the camp of self-deprecation.) No one says you have to stay there, AND you’ll have some major superpowers if you can learn to apply the same thought process of ruminating, analyzing, and creative problem-solving in a holistic, and non-damaging way.

Got some examples or stories? Send me a note about it. I’d LOVE to learn from your experiences.