Standards & Expectations

You have them. Even when they’re unspoken. Standards for how certain things should be done, how we treat one another, communication, and nearly every action in life has some sort standard associated to it.

It’s easy to think of standards and expectations in terms of work and professional relationships. Businesses and organizations usually do a good job of detailing these out in things like employee handbooks and core values. The information there might not be all encompassing, but it lays strong groundwork for how things are done and what an employee can expect to experience and be held accountable to.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we each had some sort of life handbook? You know, here are the core values and principles for which I stand for, here is the vision plan and the milestones to get there, and the standards for which we will act and expect to be treated?

Are we putting more love, care, and intention into things like business plans and career goals than we are to how we live our lives?

I was chatting with a young women recently who occasionally reaches out to me for perspective, and as she was navigating a particularly emotional situation I reminded her, “The one person you have to live with forever is you”. It’s not to say that relationships don’t matter and you shouldn’t try to communicate and connect with others. Rather, it’s a reminder that if your relationship and therefore understanding of yourself isn’t clear, the other relationships don’t matter a whole lot because you don’t have a baseline or strong foundation to make decisions on.

Standards and expectations are ways for us to discern what’s right for us with others, but it’s also a way for us to hold ourselves accountable to the person we say we are. To ensure our actions match our words.

Are your standards clear and articulate? Perhaps you occasionally find yourself angry, frustrated, or let down. Did you just stumble upon a standard you didn’t consciously know you had?