2023’s Reflection & Introspection; 2024’s Expectation

Reflection and introspection is something I find myself practicing regularly, usually spurred by micro-moments that gently remind me to embrace previous experiences or parts of who I am. I don’t often use the New Year as a time to set specific goals or define what I desire the following year to be. Many of you have likely heard me mention that my birthday that falls shortly after the New Year (January 11th) is often more of a reset for me.

Regardless of when or how reflection and introspection happen, I’m really glad this is something I keep practicing. A number of years ago now I posted something on social media about the major milestones in my life that year… It might have been the year Tyler and I moved into a new rental, got a dog, I started a new job, got engaged, and started looking for a home… In any case one of the speakers from an industry event commented on my post that I should write a book about that. Phil Gerbyshak has a number of published books, travels to speak, and has a strong online following, so that kind of encouragement from him was absurdly unexpected and then dismissed. Still, it’s a seed that’s planted deep within me (thank you, Phil) as each year since I marvel at the events of my life. (Some day Phil, I will have a book, or a few, and you’re getting a copy.)

That was all before the pandemic, before my wedding, before my dad’s traumatic cancer diagnosis and subsequent treatment, before I’d start a new job, before Tyler would start a new job, before I’d quit my job without a backup plan in place (for the second time in life), before I’d be unemployed for 5 months, before I’d start working the 3 am package handler shift at FedEx Ground (we loaded packages onto delivery trucks) so our household could stop running in a financial deficit each month, and all before the beginning of 2023.

It was completely and utterly lost on me that MY normal, regular life events were noteworthy… that they could be any kind of inspiring, encouraging, or just plain interesting to anyone.

Real talk – my little Basye fam and I crawled slowly and painfully into the start of 2023… feeling more broken, bent, beaten, and bruised than ever before.

This time last year, I knew that I was meant for more. I knew that it was the summation of my decisions that put me in my present circumstances. I knew that I had to do hard, uncomfortable things to be prepared for whatever else was coming for me in life. And, I knew I had to be patient. Patience… waiting… not something I’m particularly fond of nor good at. While I spent a lot more time studying Ephesians, 2 John, 3 John, Jude and eventually Revelation in 2023, this note from Psalm 37: 3 – 5 summarizes well what I’m try to get at:

Trust in the LORD and do good. Then you will live safely in the land and prosper. Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you your heart’s desires. Commit everything you do to the LORD. Trust him, and he will help you.

Look, I’m not throwing a pity party. You know me well enough by now to understand that. Instead, I need you to understand that if I OR ANY OF YOU measure your joy, fulfillment, peace, and happiness on the collection of substantial events over the past 12-months, there’s a whole lot of deep seeded wonder we’re dismissing and completely missing out on.

My husband and I were just discussing the phrase “when it rains, it pours” the other day, noting the negative connotation and general depressive nature of the sentiment. A bountiful harvest depends on rich, moist soil during the growing season. Rain is a plain necessity of prime growing conditions for the previously planted seeds.

I am THRILLED that our family endured bouts of downpours throughout the past few years and into 2023. You see in 2023, we fell apart. Both my husband and I individually and collectively, we crumbled and experienced new lows. We also found new joys… both my husband and I individually and collectively.

Would it be OK if I shared just a few of these joys from 2023 with you to celebrate?

  • Launching MirandaBasye.com

  • Joining my beloved women’s Bible study

  • My new job at the Sioux Metro Growth Alliance (and quitting FedEx… sorry Dallas!)

  • Speaking at Disrupt HR (watch it HERE!)

  • Tyler’s new job at Brandon Valley Middle School

  • Both of us (individually) consistently leaning into growth through Therapy

  • Tyler completing Author of My Life (through Think 3D)

  • Tyler coaching Lynx baseball (not new, but still super fun and joyful!)

  • Mini-Vacation to see Fall Out Boy in Phoenix

  • Being accepted in the Change Network Leadership Program through The Bush Foundation

  • New F150! (thanks to the $$ from Tyler’s handiwork in rebuilding his Nissan Frontier!)

  • Starting… then failing “Friday’s Food for Thought” (whoops)

  • Tyler’s new men’s Bible study

  • Unexpectedly joining forces with my friend Justin and his crew at Cannonball Digital

  • Announcing my candidacy for Sioux Falls City Council (more HERE)

There is probably MORE to celebrate with you that I’m not thinking of in this exact moment, a few things I’m still holding close that I’m not totally sure how to celebrate or what they mean just yet, and hear me out on this… the pain that still exists that will someday be a bountiful harvest because ALL SEEDS NEED RAIN. Even in that, THAT is another joy out of 2023… the emotional and mental growth me and my little family cultivated… which brings me all the way back to Phil’s nudge, or seed, all those years ago. Not specifically that I have a book in the works for you – I don’t – but that all the life I’ve packed into 28, almost 29 years is worth talking about.

As I made some of the outwardly radical choices I made in 2023 and prior, I spent a lot of time fighting with myself and my intuition about making them and following through on what I knew was right for me. I carried the expectations and visions others had for me – and sometimes my assumptions of those – with incredible weight all the while sequestering my own desires and expectations for myself. I learned that the fear of failure is asking “what if [it] doesn’t work out?”, but instead my issue was I kept asking “what happens when [it] does / I get there?”.

[big inhale, slow exhale]

Thanks to the seemingly serendipitous timing of people, programs, prayer, and of course all the seeds big and small previously planted for me to care for and then harvest, 2023’s title in my book of life is probably something like “The year I made peace with my mind”.

Just a few weeks ago I received an email to our campaign info account from a gentleman viewing our website. He took screenshots of the notes on topics I care deeply about and desire to keep moving forward in our city and called me a coward. “This campaign is run on cowardice”, he quipped.

A previous Miranda would have shuttered, shrank, and shattered.

She would have believed that as truth and took responsibility for all the unknown factors (and then some) motivating that person to take initiative to send that specific email.

They say “curiosity killed the cat; satisfaction brought him back”. Curiosity drives me more than anything. I know I am not a coward, and instead am very passionate that if we want to have good people, servant leaders, and empathetic decision-makers for our communities, we all need to stop putting people who stick their neck out to serve in any kind of thankless role through the gauntlet.

So in this example and many others, instead of wearing the misdirected hurt, and picking up someone else’s spilled pain, I ask myself, what more is there to that story and can he (or anyone else with that kind of hurt) articulate what’s driving that reaction and response? What can I actually learn and receive from this?

I’ll likely never get the direct answers to many of these questions, and frankly, I’ve learned that most of the time it’s best to simply receive as it’s given. But the point is, the Miranda I GET to be today doesn’t just know, but rather believes in the power of one. That one person can make a ripple. One smile can light up a room. One question can bring understanding. One prayer can change a life. One encouragement can move a mountain.

It takes just ONE, and we can light a fire, spark a movement, change the future.

I crawled slowly, painfully, broken, bent, beaten, and bruised into 2023 and turned 28 that year desperately hoping something would shift and I’d find a stride… any stride… I didn’t even care if it was my own or that of a 6’ 6” runner that would quickly burn me out and run me to the ground.

2024 gets to see me slowly, expectantly, patiently usher in the turn of the calendar with conviction, obedience to my intuition, and a whole lot of spice. 2024 will be a year of bountiful harvest after the rains of the previous years, AND the seeding for experiences to come. I’ll do my best to keep you posted along the way on how I’m doing that, and when I fall short, remember that I’ve that little seed of book writing planted and slowly… very slowly sprouting.